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(via stfuconservatives)

I did things I wasn’t supposed to tonight…

or any fucking night. I’ve had several shots of tequila tonight. And started drinking $2 wine at 530 pm. So, I guess I have reason to email my last real bf because he was the best lay of my life each and every single time… god damn it. I did anyway. And I texted my fireman fuck buddy :) which always ends so fucking well. BUT STILL. My last real bf did a number on me and WHY DID I EMAIL HIM??!! Oh yeah, because I deleted his number and all texts. AND THEN I started texting this other dude I have no interest in, but we hadn’t talked in like a year and he did it first so of course I responded. So… last really amazing lay bf? (that will only end in some sort of heartbreak for the both of us), fireman (pretty close runner up in the best sexing), or “eh” dude? 

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(Source: hipfuck2, via savagemike)

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applepiesfromscratch:

Cost of the Mars Curiosity Rover - $800 million

Cost of a team to operate the Mars Rover - $1 billion

Total Cost of the Mars Science Laboratory mission - $2.5 billion

Accidentally drawing a penis on the surface of another planet - Priceless

(via savagemike)

jillbiden:

I like wearing cologne/Old Spice/men’s body wash bc it makes me smell like I just had sex with a hot man.

And we all know that doesn’t happen so I have to give the appearance that I’m getting some.

My life is so sad.

Oh man Old Spice makes me think of him.

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

(via bunnyfood)

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

(Source: buysexual, via fffemme)

fishingboatproceeds:

CISPA is a nightmare.

(Source: thinksquad, via mydrunkkitchen)

(Source: ForGIFs.com, via kattygirls)

(via kattygirls)

smokeporch:

(Source: shavingryansprivates, via kattygirls)

theclearlydope:

Worth it.

kattygirls:

Lucy Liu & her necklace

(Source: joanlockian)